My 9 year old comes today with a story of a Christian man named Mark. Mark left his wife and got a girlfriend. The girlfriend goes up to the wife and says in a–for lack of a better term–witch voice, says, “He is mine now, you are never ever ever getting him back again.” and to that the wife says, “Oh, okay, want to go get coffee?” to which the girlfriend replies, “Uhhh ok…” and Mark goes back to his wife, the end.
After a week of the ex-h being off the grid (I figured out where he was at based on my sleuthing) tonight he “asks” me if it’s okay that he takes our daughter to his girlfriend’s house 5 states away for Christmas. We have 4 kids together, but he only wants to take the oldest because he “has one free ticket”. I cannot even begin to explain how infuriating this is to me. First of all, he has a 10 year old son that he promised to take to a Russell Wilson Meet and Greet (oops, escaped his memory) forgot middle son’s 12th birthday (It’s at an odd time of the year) and has blatantly ignored all of oldest son’s messages, texts and emails (no explanation necessary.)
He turned 11. It was nice for him to get a Facebook canned “Happy B’day” late in the day after 14 other people had already alerted you to his birthday. You’d think after 11 years of being his father you’d put a little more effort, but no. A couple of weeks and several promises later you still haven’t acknowledged his ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY. It pains me to sit back and watch your already shaky relationship slowly crumble into nonexistence. So, in case you were wondering, yes, he’s 11 now. Yes, he knows you basically forgot his birthday. Yes, he knows you’re nonchalantly sweeping it under the rug of your “super busy life”. Just don’t be shocked when he purposefully “forgets” YOU.
This is the waiting game where I patiently wait for the overt narcissist to bestow kindness upon me and get the child support to me. It was promised for today but alas, it is midday and I have yet to hear nary a word. It sucks having to rely on the unreliable.
Waiting for child support from an overt narcissist in a scary feat. When your rent, utilities, gas, food, ETC rely on a narcissist’s pity, you’re in a rough spot for two reasons. One is that he loves the attention when you text and darn near beg for his precious money and Two is that he really doesn’t care if you need the money or not. The whole focus here is his ego and your demise. Both of which is roils around in self love for. Blech.
Being with a narcissist spouse for over 20 years has left with me a two-edged sword. I now have to work to trust someone that’s never given me any reason whatsoever to mistrust him. And actually, has proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that he’s so trustworthy that I could give him my everything and my everything matters just as much to him as it does me. I love that man.
Perfectly true
“Will you be dropping off the kids?”
“Um yeah, meet me?”
“Suuuure. When.”
“Uhh, 5?”
“Uhh, 5:30?”
“I dunno, I guess I’ll let you know”
“Thanks.”
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Its been said that the narcissist is totally focused on themselves. Well the ultimate showing of that is when *he* proceeds to party rather than buy school items that have been PROMISED since July because *he* has no money but “found” some “extra” money when *he* wanted to look like a Disneyland Dad hero to *his* daughter. HellO she needs BOOKS, not APPLEBEES.
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